FAITH : A Different Perspective

In my view, there are three levels of religious faith...

No I am not ordained by any church organization but do have an opinion from my own experiences which have not been ordinary or trivial. The great thing about having your own site is that it can be used to be truthful about issues and if readers cannot respectfully disagree they are free to change the channel. I once was a big fan of Bill O'Reilly. When I learned what he truly stood for I lost respect and interest and I don't watch his show anymore because i don't see it as representing reality for most people. I won't say anything bad about him but I believe him to be too biased to be objective about serious issues. To the far right is Rush Limbaugh who is mostly a cultish figure almost to comedic proportions bordering on fanaticism. He caters to people who need something to believe in to feel better about themselves. You won't ever hear me bash him but neither will I bother listening to what he has to say. He has a purpose, however. 

Even the metaphorical Satan has a purpose, for if he wasn't created then divinity and goodness would be without meaning. Free will to choose either right or wrong is what truly empowers man. Our whole earthly reality is based on the concept of relativity and opposition due to the fact that everything in existence has an opposite reflection existing to validate itself. There can be no hot without cold, high without low, wide without narrow, deep without shallow, dumb without smart, Democrat without Republican, and the grandparents of all is life without death and good vs. evil. Our reality is designed in this inescapable manner. Thus the real key to any degree of sane happiness as a human being must exist in finding balance. Everything I try to do to help others boils down to this simple principle. All of us seek daily what to us represents some form of emotional, physical, and spiritual balance.

Back to my original point about levels of faith... The lowest level of course would be zero or atheism. Such individuals are so skeptical and frustrated at apparent inconsistencies and improbabilities of religion that they choose to jump ship and forget about the coping value of religious faith. Believing in nothing can be more devastating than believing in something that may not have been recorded accurately or even fabricated for that matter. Of course, sometimes an agnostic approach of just admitting "I do not know the answer" can be best. At certain points in my own life there was temptation to adopt both of the above views. In retrospect it becomes clear that coping with change or stress was the motivating factor at those times. Life is a test that we cannot know the true answers to until it is over. In the meanwhile, all we have is the faith of our choosing and whatever that may be to the individual must be right. All others are wrong. This view leads to the level of extremist theological belief.

Religious extremists and fanatics have always been the instigators, agitators and even menaces to society all the way back to Cain slaying his brother Abel for wanting to be viewed as the favorite son. We are occupying Iraq today because of a U.S. organization unknown to most named Project for a New American Century (P.N.A.C.) and in the name of fighting Muslim extremists. The stories sold to the public through the media about the state of affairs is almost completely false yet most people are too distracted by their own problems to really care what is really true. Most of the true information was available on You Tube for a good while before it could be removed without causing suspicion among the masses. Those in power know that the public is conditioned to only read materials that are entertaining and short. Our media and public schools program this behavior. Those who don't conform are in the minority. The illiterate will watch whatever they are shown and accept without questioning. Even if they do question, what power do they have to do anything about it? My overall point here is that too much religion can be very dangerous.

Personally, I was raised in the A.M.E. Zion and Baptist Church where I received sound religious fundamentals. As a younger adult I began to question much of my own beliefs. When I became a spiritualistic individual and stopped focusing on religious doctrine things began to make more sense to me. I accept that many Biblical parables and principles had to be made simple enough for the masses to be able to accept and practice in their individual lives. As long as a core of truth exists the relevance of the specific details is not what is really most important. That core truth is what holds the real value. In the context of eternity and infinity all things are possible. If one accepts the reality of eternity and infinity all else is secondary. If one lacks the mental capacity to understand then it may take a fairy tale-like illustration to reach them. I believe that God allows the stronger among us to minister to those in need. To whom much is given much is expected. Sometimes true strength may be misconstrued as political power or influence, which can be quite problematic. Among my current path of personal growth I have reached a place where the understanding is that the truth is the light that never changes and it holds the potential to set one free. My patients who are sincere about their treatment know that I use a lot of analogies and parables with that one being one of my favorites. I never preach religion but strongly encourage patients to seek spiritual connection. If they request I try and help them find that for I know they can never truly have peace without it.

The desired level of faith is one where the individual allows their light to shine. Individuals who practice what they preach don't need a lot of words. They are not easily offended and rarely angry so they lack a need for vengeance toward those who have wronged them. They know very well the power of confession and forgiveness for this sets one in alignment with truth which is eternal and infinite.

Fight or Flight

  

I saw a patient a short while ago who had seen ten doctors and scheduled to see the twelfth tomorrow...

We had a good first meeting and I was glad to hear her say she didn't think it would be necessary to keep that next appointment. Her primary care doctor realized he was in over his head and that it might be time for a mental health consult. She had been diagnosed with a common but challenging to treat syndrome Known as fibromyalgia. People afflicted by this condition frequently may also show signs and symptoms of Irritable Bowel, Chronic Fatigue, and frequent migraine headaches. This middle aged married woman was starting to lose hope that the medical profession could offer any help for her symptoms of constant burning, aching, sore muscles and joints. Unlike the drug seekers that often find their way to my office, she was clearly anti-medication and wanted to get by on the bare minimum of drugs. The history collected from her showed that she had not had an adequate trial of an antidepressant or one of the medications designed for neuropathic pain such as neurontin. My greatest challenge would be to overcome her fear and reluctance to take adequate doses of medications to achieve the desired effect. It also became clear that she would need psychotherapy to address several recent losses she was trying to cope with. I learned that she was a woman of faith which gave me another avenue to connect. I don't hesitate to remind appropriate patients that even Jesus Christ could not heal one without their belief in his connection to the power. Without faith Simon Peter began to sink into the sea, Daniel would not have survived the lions den, and Job could not have endured his ordeal. I don't know how I ended up going there but it was effective and I was able to form an alliance and prescribe her medications that I trust will benefit her.

This is one of the things I love most about practicing psychiatry. I was able to reach this patient in a way that 10 other doctors could not. For healing to occur she must be addressed from the perspectives of the physical body, the emotional self, and spiritual aspect. This is what a human being consists of. Her approach of seeking healing from a purely physical approach had failed and left her distraught and hopeless. This approach deals with fixing the problem from the outside in which is much like trying to extinguish the fire of a burning building after it is over half the way burned down. At this point there is not certainty that my treatment will be successful but I believe it will.

The factors directly addressed included a devastating heart attack a few years back, having to give up her career, fear of losing her ability to drive, her grand daughter moving away to another town, being constantly in physical pain and daily symptoms of depression, grief, and anxiety. She had not had the opportunity to really quantify the degree of her loss and stress and had not given herself permission to say it was ok to express anger and guilt as a part of a normal grief response. I was able to facilitate that today and begin working with her to restore hope of recovery and the possibility of future happiness. When I see a patient such as this it reminds me that my work isn't in vain and that God has blessed me with the ability and opportunities to make unique and useful interventions with people who are suffering.

If stress ceased to exist I would no longer have a job. I believe that stress is at the root of all disease. Stress is like fire. It can motivate us to thrive or it can destroy us if not managed. Fire can keep us alive from hypothermia or fire can incinerate us in our sleep if it gets out of control. The basic physiological response from stress in life is activation of the well known "fight or flight" response common to all mammals. Without this reflex man could not have survived for so many thousands of years. Man would have been unable to adapt to hostile threats and may have become extinct. The fight or flight response is triggered by events that occur during daily life and lead to release of adrenalin and several other chemicals and hormones into the bloodstream which instantaneously result in a rise in blood pressure, pulse rate, tension of the muscles, widening of the pupils, increase in breathing rate and other changes that prepare us to fight 'til death or evacuate the premises. Through evolution we have learned that physical violence isn't a good initial choice for solving problems. Running away or avoiding a threatening problem sometimes is the best decision. It can sometimes be the best strategy to live and fight another day. One who attempts to solve every problem through fighting blindly will ultimately fail as will one who avoids every problem. Man is king of the animal world because of the small layer of gray matter in our brains that usually helps us decide whether it is best to fight or run in a given situation.

When the fight or flight response is on constantly, as caused by continuous stress, the nervous system can become depleted of valuable biochemicals and eventually start to malfunction. This is the cause of conditions such as depression and anxiety. This sends the body into emergency conservation mode and forces it to select which functions to keep running and which to shut down. The first system to go is usually the immune system which leaves the body open to attack from microorganisms and even certain cancer cells. Sometimes the immune system revs up too high instead causing conditions such as lupus or arthritis. At some point the brain may shut down the endorphin plant depriving the body of this natural opioid-like substance and causing the body to become supersensitive to pain. Due to the massive supply of nerves in the gastrointestinal region and head region symptoms of nausea, diarrhea, constipation, and headaches are common in the stressed out state.

The bottom line is that too much stress, not effectively managed, throws the whole body out of whack and disrupts the natural biological processes thus setting the stage for disease to occur. Because of stigma sometimes attached to mental illness many people actually develop physical symptoms as the primary problem, often being led on a wild goose chase to find the right doctor to help them. Unfortunately, sometimes the psychiatrist is the last stop. This is not good because psychosomatic illnesses  often will  respond only to the appropriate combination of medications, psychotherapy, and assuring that the patients spiritual needs are addressed.

Brief Look at Partner Abuse (and Battered Bloggers)

   

For the regular readers, I'm sure you notice the change in layout and graphics on the site...

Nothing is really meant by the change except an opportunity for me to play around with something I really know very little about. Much like a kid with a new toy I sometimes get caught up with the creative potential of my computer. The finished product here was reached by trial and error of things I've learned to do and things I'm clueless about and just happen to stumble upon. A reader visiting the first time might get the wrong idea by some of the images, colors, and hidden humor and think that I'm either crazy or out of sync with mainstream. I usually make an effort to write about things that curious minds will find of interest. I'm aware that perhaps 75% of people will have no idea of what I'm trying to say and 15 to 20% of people wouldn't find it interesting anyway. I know that my blog journal is not appropriate for all but I do appreciate those who find it worth reading. I really didn't care much about the appearance at first because I really just wanted to say what I had to say just for the therapeutic benefit. I never really expected it would be read as much as it has.

I've written about Battle of the Blogs at the Blog Explosion Web Site a couple of times before. Involvement there probably motivated me more than anything to explore and learn more about graphics and word processing. If you aren't familiar with how it works; A blogger accepts the challenge from another member for a battle by matching the credits wagered under the thumbnail image of the blog. 15 other volunteer members spend 20 seconds looking at each blog then vote on which is the best by clicking a button. The blog with the most votes then splits the credits wagered with the voters and chalks up another in the Win column. When I first started competing I thought that the voters actually read what was in the blog and thought about what they read before they voted. About 80 losses later I finally accepted that it wasn't that type of party. I understood that winning more than an occasional battle was all that I could expect regardless of the quality of the writing. I always thought that if I picked up just one serious reader out of the 15 voters that I had actually met my objective. Yeah, right. Even though Battle of the Blogs was clearly not the place to promote my blog, or my self esteem, I was bitten by the competition bug and just had to know what it felt like to be able to be a little more competitive. I started seeing nothing wrong with trying to make a good first impression with readers through a little cosmetic augmentation. So I decided to upgrade and even though I still don't know what the hell I'm doing half the time, my site certainly looks better than it once did. I still lose most of the battles but I'm able to compete with most of the mediocre blogs. To me that's an accomplishment and I hope to continue learning more about computer graphics and such.

Enough of that. My intention initially was to write a little about something that has been on my mind quite a bit lately. That something is one of those things often overlooked but that happens much more frequently than one cares to think about. What I speak of is domestic violence. It's not always the man who is the perpetrator but most battered husbands seem to avoid seeking help, probably due to embarrassment. Next to crack addicts who also have sociopathic traits and sexual predators, I would have to say that next on the despicable list fall the wife beaters. Usually they are lurking somewhere in the wings like in a Greek Tragedy where an actor runs onto the stage to dramatically report to the principle characters what is happening somewhere offstage. The viewers imagination is crucial to really understand the plot of the story completely. In practicing psychotherapy, the old cliche' of believing half of what you see and none of what you hear is often quite accurate. When there is conflict between two individuals I find it unreal how the versions of the identical same story are almost always totally different. Over the years I have found it crucial to never draw any conclusions with just one version of a story. That is usually a big mistake if you desire to really help the patient.

The most important rule is that violence is unacceptable under all circumstances. Both parties must conform to this rule. A woman must accept the principle of hit me once shame on you, hit me twice shame on me. There should never be a second time but it isn't outside of reason for this to occur. By the third time it becomes clear that the situation is critical and dangerous. The battered partner has committed to being an enabler to a sick criminal. The battered wife often accepts the myth that she is somehow to blame for this fool"s anger. She also believes she has the duty and where-with-all to change this person. She often finds herself apologizing for his out of control anger and covering up for him. At this stage of the game the dynamic is much like a dance with one party's behavior being totally dependent on the other's. Usually, it only gets worse from here. Adding alcohol abuse to the mix is like pouring gasoline on the fire. The outcome will not be a desirable one.

The police and battered women's shelters usually are first to deal with situations that escalate to physical violence, if it's not too late before it is learned that intervention is required. In my practice there are many women who suffer mental and emotional abuse which can be just as damaging as physical abuse because such wounds are much harder to heal. I find that most women that find the courage to see a therapist usually have the potential to eventually develop the skills to empower themselves and put a stop to the abuse. Often they know they need to leave this man but he usually has warned her that if she were to do so he would have to kill himself or her. Unless impaired by drugs or alcohol most of them are too cowardly to kill anyone but the woman usually isn't ready to call his bluff at this point. When there are children involved the situation can get even more complex. Sometimes it is the love of the children that motivates the mother to do what she has to do. Statistically, 75% of wife beaters also abuse their children. I would estimate that about 25% of wife beaters have plans of beating their wife's therapist. I say that as a joke but it is probably true, which makes sense if one understands the basic psychological make up of many abusers. All the abuser is really interested in is control and possessing which makes the behaviors associated with insecurity and jealousy typical. This is most often served up with a side order of blaming the victim. As I often find myself explaining to the abused subject, the abuser is a master projectionist and really the opposite of everything he professes to be. Deep within he is a fearful and insecure boy child who has a need to control his external environment to have any self esteem at all. He also is aware that his mate in many ways is much stronger than he could ever hope to be. He goes to great lengths to keep a lid on this valuable secret. His most important weapon is to constantly attack her self esteem which he will fight desperately to do if she shows any signs of proclaiming what he perceives to be independence or control of her own circumstances.

I find it satisfying to observe a woman regain her self esteem and control of her life after an extended period of being manipulated and brainwashed into psychological oppression. Most of the time I feel very little empathy for the abuser because he has usually scoffed at every invitation and opportunity to save the relationship. With such an individual the only intervention having any hope of working is for him to be left by the object of his control and abuse. Usually this type individual finds it easier to find a next partner who is like his wife used to be before that horrible therapist ruined his life. It is a fact that some people are not capable of making significant behavioral changes despite the cost to them.