Time for Change

 

No resolutions made, so no resolutions will be broken...

Rather than New Years resolutions that I know I will break a better solution is to make a simple commitment to change my attitude. By doing so it won't be necessary to itemize the multitude of things I need to do a better job at. The perceived enormity of the changes one may feel pressured to undertake can often lead to more procrastination which is a motivation killer.

 Denial, I have found to be the trademark of many behavioral problems. Effective change becomes possible only when the state of denial ends. One behavioralist proposes a model that illustrates how effective change occurs. The initial stage is one of contemplation or conscious acknowledgement of existence of a problem. During this stage the individual can verbalize that they own a certain behavior that they no longer wish to possess. This stage may be brief or may linger on indefinitely, depending on how much motivation the person has and whether the environment is conducive or not.

The next stage is the most crucial, known as the putting the plan into action stage. The challenge here is maintaining motivation to follow through. Positive feedback is the key to success. This feedback originates internally and externally. A sense of achievement and pride in progress made encourages the individual to continue the desired behavior. The support people offer praise and encouragement in the form of compliments or other reward. This is a key principle of child rearing and parenting. Many psychiatric and psychological cases are a direct result of parental failure here during the developmental years.

The action stage takes the individual to the last stage which too relies heavily on the support system and self esteem. Many patients I have seen have difficulty reaching or maintaining this final state of a sense of well being due to co dependency traits. If they have a partner who is lagging or resistant to their own change, support is often withheld by that partner. The person then must choose to develop more independence and self esteem or to drift back under the influence of denial. It can be reasonably assumed when a person  of normal intelligence continues to engage in self defeating or non productive behaviors that make no sense to an observer, that person is in the grips of denial. In the deepest denial one denies that as being the case.

Final Ramble '06

       

Well, another year rapidly draws to a close...

I know I should count my blessings but that isn't the way I feel inside. The main reason I'm afraid to complain about 2006 is that it is clear that 2007 holds no guarantees. It's all relative though. At least I don't have a major disease and I'm not dead. The present time presents a golden opportunity for me to practice what I preach about the yen and the yang and the karma and optimism conquering the pessimism and self creating the future.  I must rise to the occasion! 2006 was without a doubt the most unpleasant 12 month period of my life in every aspect. If every negative thing imaginable happens in the New Year I doubt it will be any worse.

If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger, according to Nietzsche. One thing clear to me is that we must stay focused on life and not death. The fact that tomorrow isn't promised gives the maximum value to our lives. AOL posted a photo list of over 30 celebrities that passed away over the past year. Popularity of those lost was so great that Gerald Levert and Bo the coach weren't even recognized. Then I thought of  the friends, relatives, and patients that died in 2006. Adding to that list are the hundreds of young American soldiers, thousands of Iraqis, and those in Africa who aren't even thought of by most. Face it, one has to almost be insane in order to convince themselves that the world is not a depressing place.

There is, however, a time and a place for everything. Or is that really so? I used to think so but now I'm not so sure how accurate that Biblical cliche' is. There is never an appropriate time and place for crack cocaine, at least not in a sane world. I truly believe this drug will be the fall of humanity as we know it. There has never been anything in recorded history similar to the psychosocial damage inflicted by this compound. In my opinion, the effect seems to have surpassed the destruction caused by the HIV virus and AIDs. Crack is like a virus that attacks the morality and value system while slowly diminishing the mental and physical health. Socioeconomic losses are probably unprecedented. It is much more infectious than HIV and insidiously changes even those who would never touch the stuff.

I have never even seen crack but it has changed my life by interacting with those who have chosen to let it into their lives. As I have written before, it is the denial that is deadly. I've never met a crack addict who admitted to the actual severity of their condition before actually losing close to everything. Denial of this magnitude removes the addict from the world in which the rest of us live. Somehow, their problems are more important and more frequent and they are never to blame. Those who would enable their behaviors can be devoured over the course of the addict's existence. For a while the addict appears normal externally before the weight loss, agitation, and paranoia take over. Further into the disease the user's brain has been biochemically altered to a degree that they most likely will never recover from. The dopamine and other neurotransmitter levels of the brain has been distorted to a degree that the addict may experience the symptoms of every major psychiatric condition known to man on a given day. The hallucinations and paranoia of the schizophrenic are common, as well as the mania and depressive behaviors of bipolar disorder. The denial of their condition has isolated them to the point that some think they have superior knowledge to any psychiatrist about what could make them better.Their relationships are usually damaged beyond repair. All major bridges are burned. No credibility remains. In the severe stages of the addiction the user has lost all ability to parent or be a reliable spouse or friend. This person is only accepted by another in just as bad shape as they are.

I have no compassion left for people addicted to crack cocaine. This is how I have been infected. Seeing mother's neglect and lose their children is not acceptable to me. Seeing women sell their bodies didn't seem as bad when we watched it as part of the depiction of the TV ghetto.That is no longer the case since the drug has moved to the suburbs and the farms.Nothing disturbs me more than to be lied to my face. This is a major part of the training of fighting this epidemic.The only way to really help is to not enable. It saddens me to say that a self destructive gene seems to be triggered by this drug, usually in an irreversible manner.These individuals are much sicker than they appear and are much more dangerous than you would think. If you care for or love an addict, there is a rough road ahead. Until you learn to cut loose and save yourself, you too will perish with co-dependency.

One success in 2006 was initiating a system to help rid my practice of close to 50 cases who, unfortunately, could not be helped. The goal of the future is to never let them get through the door in the first place. Many doctors go to the extreme of never prescribing controlled drugs. I think a better policy is selecting patients as appropriately as possible. This is something that must be learned over time. Fixing the world is an unrealistic expectation for any individual. I think the Serenity Prayer of asking God to grant the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference says it best. To those who have supported me, I wish you the Happiest of New Years. To those who may dislike me, for whatever reason I say life is just too short so lets try and find some common ground.

                                                                                                        

Re-affirmation to Self

    

Several months back I tried to change my approach to what I choose to post...

I had to face that Pollyannish thinking doesn't do it for me. My formula from day one was to write what I truly think and feel regardless of how it is perceived by others. I have to go where my conscience leads me whether I really want to or not. That was the true intended purpose of the free speech amendment. The line has been drawn at whether it is appropriate or not to shout "fire" in a building that is not burning. I have never crossed that line and have no intentions of doing so.

I have found it to be true that journalistic writing that fails to spark some degree of controversy is worthless because it hasn't challenged the reader to use their own critical thinking skills. No one individual can possibly be right about everything, or most things for that matter, but collectively enough opinions in time will illuminate the truth. That is why division of the masses is such an effective sociological tool when skillfully applied by the powers that be. Therefore, for as long as I write in a public forum I must do it from my own heart and not primarily to gain or keep readers.

Two years ago when I started this journal, I really didn't know if it would be read at all and I really didn't care. There was stuff I needed to say and I was going to say it in the way I best express myself, in writing. Today, no other aspect of my life is as disciplined as this journal. Even when I don't want to write I am driven to do so anyway. It has become much like a life line at times as I have found to be the case for many other bloggers.

When I feel helpless and/or powerless about realities occurring around me, at least I am able to file a complaint in my journal. Even though I'm aware that no one can directly change the outcome of the problem at the time, it feels good to know that there is understanding somewhere on earth. Even if someone disagrees strongly, it is good to know that there will be an opponent with whom to fight. Interestingly, some bloggers seem to have a primary goal of seeking someone who disagrees with their point of view so that they may argue with them. My stance has always been to show me evidence that I am wrong and you'll be my friend for life. "Because it's in the Bible," is usually not enough evidence. Usually there will be another verse that contradicts. Neither is "because I saw it on television." Some people don't even know why they believe what they believe. The ultimate in narcissism is based simply on "because I say so." This mentality makes my skin crawl.

My main point this entry is just to reflect some on why I seem to have become so politically focused lately. I suppose because there is a lot going on that is so wrong and I see so many who are oblivious or indifferent to the realities of today's world. The word wrong also depends on the point of view taken. If you make over $500,000.00 annual income then you are quite correct to assume that you have it made in the shade and let the good times roll. But, if you are barely making ends meet and you think there is a liberal bias in the media and that the current leadership in America is in no way corrupt and dishonest, then Houston we have a very serious problem. Anyone who would attack me on this point would not be worth the time to argue with for they, in my opinion, are totally out of touch with the real reality.

I don't profess to know all of the truth or have all of the answers but I do know when I smell a rat and I do want to find that rat. I hate being tricked or fooled more than anything. I have become a bit intrigued by the current political dynamics, I suppose mainly because ordinary people can actively participate on a mass scale for the first time in history since the founding fathers. That is why Time Magazine made "You" the person of the year for 2006. We the people may continue to be lied to but at least we have the means to know who tells the lies and force accountability even if we can't stop the lying. That gives me some peace of mind.