Quest 4 the Week

   I like to think happy thoughts and write happy thoughts. . .

For reasons I will not discuss that has been difficult to do lately. My life has entered a twighlight zone but I believe firmly in Nietche's law of that which does not kill us indeed makes us stronger. Over time it becomes apparent that this Quest 4 Sanity never really ends, though it can be ignored or cast aside. When I completed Evolution of a Psychiatrist Against the Odds in 2004, the story ended at a place of great challenge but also of hope. I could have never imagined the unfolding of the following years. In many ways unbelievably wonderful things have occurred in my world view as well as some extremely bad things.

After my last post I was hoping to try and forget about those people from a certain organization and was ready to start doing so until learning the real truth behind the motivation of my recent persecution. I cannot go into it but I found the undisclosed truth to be shocking and almost beyond belief. I have enough to begin a novel right now but I know it would not sell because few readers would find the plot believable. I want to think that I'm just narcissistic but the narcissist is usually incapable of insight to his own narcissism just as the psychotic individual is oblivious to his own delusions and views the voices he hears as reality. So I don't believe myself to suffer from character pathology or a psychotic process.

If any of this comes off as weird it's because it is weird, even to me. Every now and then I allow myself to free associate a little just to throw the reader off track. This journal is one of the few places I'm allowed to let some of my true thoughts flow. I'll only allow that, however, if I feel there might be a bit of entertainment value or educational value to what I write. Often I will remind a patient of why dreams are thought to be a necessary part of maintaining a healthy mind. Our dreams originate from the subconscious mind where the vast majority of all our thoughts are stored. That includes most of the thoughts and memories we would rather not be bothered with. The more those thoughts and memories are repressed and suppressed the more they want to breakthrough our psychological defenses and invade our conscious thought. Dreaming is one way this occurs and is believed to be one way of emptying some of the garbage from the subconscious mind. Dreaming gives us the opportunity to just go absolutely and undeniably insane for a brief period of time. By doing so in our sleep it becomes less likely certain impulses will be acted out in our waking life. I've heard that the crazier the dream, the more creative the dreamer. There are no rules in a dream. A good therapeutic dream usually will make little sense to a sane individual, though endless interpretations may be possible. Beware of one who claims not to dream.

On a more serious note, tonight I urge any person interested in the future of mental health care to write our Representative Verla Insko in the House of Representatives and urge her to vote against the upcoming N.C. Senate Bill 202 Appropriations Act of 2009. The way it was explained to me is that the Bill will limit the use of Non-generic psychiatric medications for many mentally ill patients. This is seen as a step in the wrong direction because it is not known if generic medications will work as effectively for certain mental conditions where there is data backing effective treatment with the name brand products. The motivation behind the Bill is to save money. I don't think risking the well being of mentally ill individuals is the place to start cutting the budget. I doubt many of those patients would want this if they were able to speak for themselves. Traditionally, they haven't always had advocacy and mental health is one of the first areas to be cut or eliminated when changes are made. I don't think this is what's best for our society. If interested, please email Rep Insko at verla.insko@ncleg.net

psychiatry