So Hard to Say Goodbye

 What a week . . .

I didn't know Ed McMahon was still alive until hearing of his death, I was saddened deeply but not too shocked by Farrah's passing, and I still can't believe Michael is gone. Not to even mention pitch man Billy Mays and a couple of other prominent personalities that left us in the past week. What is this, the rapture or something? I heard an interesting quote from the Kung Fu Panda movie. "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift which is why it is called the present." To me that about sums it up. A friend once offered some advise on coping which was to always remember "it's not about you." I took this to mean that there is always a much greater plan at work than our own personal trials and tribulations. In the end everything is guaranteed to work out but karma is an essential ingredient.

Since I was 11 years old Michael has been a part of my emotional and mental make up. In 1969 there was nothing like the Jackson 5. I remember every single recording in sequence to this very day. I could most easily identify with Michael because he was the center of attention and was just 3 months my senior. Everyone adored him as an adolescent. That's the Michael I love most. Every boy wanted to be him secretly. I thought it was so cool when girls told me I looked like Michael Jackson.

MJ remained a presence throughout my college years and in my opinion was at his peak during the Off The Wall period. He still embodied adequate masculinity appeal not to trigger emotional insecurities or discomfort within most male fans during this time. Something seemed to happen during the Thriller years through the Bad album debut. After the Bad promotion I felt no longer able to identify personally with MJ. Physically, I would have found it somewhat offensive to be compared. In retrospect, I believe this is the period when MJ began to transcend race and gender in a way never accomplished before. I was not pleased but over time became able to understand better and appreciate where he was trying to go.

I always felt bad for Michael when he was misperceived and misunderstood or when harsh jokes were made about him. It was quite a sacrifice to forfeit ones childhood in order to give to the world his gift of music and entertainment. Plus having to deal with the issues involved with family, friends, and socialization. I don't believe any of the hype about him molesting children. I believe he longed to be a child and could identify closely with the innocence and honesty possessed by children and pets. I understand how when a person reaches a certain status there is no where to go but down. The media is one instrument often involved in this process.

Joe Jackson commented that he wished most of all that Michael was alive to see the out pouring of emotion across the world since the news of his death broke. Often we don't recognize the true value of something until it is gone.

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[Keith Raleigh]

Jackson's death still resonates today.
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