My cat has lost her mind . . .

and I have no training in feline psychology. She's 3 years old now. What's that in human years, 16? Erroneously I thought I could keep her locked indoors and avoid having her fixed. Not! As a kitten she once ventured outside and got lost for a couple of hours. A neighbor returned her and for the next couple of years she didn't try that again. The first time she went into heat I had no idea what the heck was happening. She also had worms at the time, so I thought her behavioral changes had something to do with that. The injection at the vet cleared up the worms and he told me not to worry about the estrace cycle. Having her spayed could take care of the problem. I procrastinated. No, I just didn't do it.

I got pretty accustomed to her running to the door to greet me upon my return home from work. Sometimes she could be quite annoying by clinging to my every action. This Spring she developed a habit of running past me when I open the door. Once outside there would be an obvious look of confusion as if she didn't really understand why she did what she just did. She would then sniff the rug a few times and run back inside the door just as fast as she ran out. After seeing an apparent stray calico tom cat hanging around outside, I started to become suspicious. He was probably communicating to her through the door while I was away. He was perhaps planning a not so secret rendezvous. Two weeks ago she ran toward me as I opened the door to come in. This time she didn't even look back as she ran off into the darkness. There was no response to my meow calls for the next 4 days. Just when I was about to give up on her, she presents to the door meowing as if nothing has happened. She has lost considerable weight and seems to be starving. I figured she had learned her lesson. I was wrong. She's been away for 2 days so far this time. Anybody want a kitten, or two?

The HEADoc has become pretty crafty with his Chainsaw. . . 

and Beaver Saw brush blade through his Saturdays land clearing project. He's learned quite a bit about felling trees over the past several Saturdays of practice. During the last episode of Adventures of The HEADoc the pyromania party was crashed by the Siler City Fire Department. The HEADoc felt this was unnecessary. Oh what a difference a month can make.

This Saturday, The HEADoc experienced an apparent slip in judgment as he attempted to defy the laws of gravity and balance. He seemed to forget how recent it had been when he knew nothing about operating a chainsaw or cutting down a tree. Today The HEADoc would attempt to make a professional cut that at some point becomes the mistake of most amateur lumber jacks. Today he would make the tree he planned to cut fall away from the power lines in a controlled cut. Half way into the cut The HEADoc became acutely aware that he was in over his head. The hinge cut caused the chainsaw to be pinched firmly into the tree as gravity and balance refused to cooperate with The HEADoc's plan. As a public service The HEADoc wishes to remind all amateur chainsaw operators that this is the point to call the power company and swallow your pride. Tell them you are in the process of screwing up and need them to bail you out. They have the equipment to right the situation.

That said, most readers can probably assume that the HEADoc probably did not follow this prudent advice. He did learn a valuable lesson that will power is no match for physics. Yes, you guessed it. The HEADoc used the other saw to finish the cut. The tree refused to fall in the direction planned. The tree fell directly onto the power lines. The 4th of July came on May 3 for The HEADoc. The sparks and explosions were spectacular. The display culminated in a real fire this time. The HEADoc was not calm and collected this time because the situation was not under control. A passer by and a neighbor lended a hand to help control the fire until the Fire Department arrived. The passer by offered the humiliated HEADoc some consolation by admitting that the same thing had happened to him before. The neighbor's father had once felled a tree onto their house. Maybe this behavior is encoded in the Y Chromosome.

   A few hours ago . . .

Why do People  ?

The most appropriate answer to that question is probably the reply given by President Clinton when asked why he did what he did with "that woman." "Because I could," he replied to a probing reporter. I started posting almost 4 years ago because I could, and never really expected that many people would take interest in what I write. I really just needed a place to vent and explore and express my ideas from time to time. Other than my work, I have shown more commitment to this journal than any other project I've undertaken. My writing style is intentionally original and at times incorporates controversial ideas which on occasion may evoke emotional response from a commenter. I know my perspective on life is unique, mainly because of who I am and what I do for a living. When I feel passionately about something I will fight with everything I have to win the cause. Most people I associate with either love me or misunderstand me or may be in transition.

Validation of oneself is crucial but can be detrimental or meaningless if the validator is invalid. I think with my journaling I have sought validation, in a sense. There are other ways besides blogging to vent and to express oneself. So validation has been a source of motivating me to continue posting here. I was thrilled and in disbelief when Author Neale Donald Walsch actually read a few entries and used the word "intriguing" to describe his opinion. Last month Blog Burst and Reuters posted my In Treatment and Intervention article nationally in their entertainment section. Didn't get a lot of clicks but it did feel good to be accepted as a legitimate writer instead of just a novice. Sometimes the thrill of the chase is much more exciting than the capture. Strangely I feel less motivation than ever before to continue posting. I'm really not mad about much anymore. There were several personal crises over the past couple of years but they have only made me stronger and helped to clarify where to go from here.

At times I have tended to displace my frustrations on to politics. The Bush Administration made that quite convenient as an option. I think most people capable of critical unbiased thinking have seen for themselves how bad this President was for the country, in general. Due to the ending of an era I must redo my Satire Page. I think I'll focus less on politics, unless McCain wins the election in November.

I guess my reason for this post is to state that I will probably be making fewer posts in the future. I don't want to shut completely down at this time. I still have a lot of thoughts.