My cat has lost her mind . . .

and I have no training in feline psychology. She's 3 years old now. What's that in human years, 16? Erroneously I thought I could keep her locked indoors and avoid having her fixed. Not! As a kitten she once ventured outside and got lost for a couple of hours. A neighbor returned her and for the next couple of years she didn't try that again. The first time she went into heat I had no idea what the heck was happening. She also had worms at the time, so I thought her behavioral changes had something to do with that. The injection at the vet cleared up the worms and he told me not to worry about the estrace cycle. Having her spayed could take care of the problem. I procrastinated. No, I just didn't do it.

I got pretty accustomed to her running to the door to greet me upon my return home from work. Sometimes she could be quite annoying by clinging to my every action. This Spring she developed a habit of running past me when I open the door. Once outside there would be an obvious look of confusion as if she didn't really understand why she did what she just did. She would then sniff the rug a few times and run back inside the door just as fast as she ran out. After seeing an apparent stray calico tom cat hanging around outside, I started to become suspicious. He was probably communicating to her through the door while I was away. He was perhaps planning a not so secret rendezvous. Two weeks ago she ran toward me as I opened the door to come in. This time she didn't even look back as she ran off into the darkness. There was no response to my meow calls for the next 4 days. Just when I was about to give up on her, she presents to the door meowing as if nothing has happened. She has lost considerable weight and seems to be starving. I figured she had learned her lesson. I was wrong. She's been away for 2 days so far this time. Anybody want a kitten, or two?

The HEADoc has become pretty crafty with his Chainsaw. . . 

and Beaver Saw brush blade through his Saturdays land clearing project. He's learned quite a bit about felling trees over the past several Saturdays of practice. During the last episode of Adventures of The HEADoc the pyromania party was crashed by the Siler City Fire Department. The HEADoc felt this was unnecessary. Oh what a difference a month can make.

This Saturday, The HEADoc experienced an apparent slip in judgment as he attempted to defy the laws of gravity and balance. He seemed to forget how recent it had been when he knew nothing about operating a chainsaw or cutting down a tree. Today The HEADoc would attempt to make a professional cut that at some point becomes the mistake of most amateur lumber jacks. Today he would make the tree he planned to cut fall away from the power lines in a controlled cut. Half way into the cut The HEADoc became acutely aware that he was in over his head. The hinge cut caused the chainsaw to be pinched firmly into the tree as gravity and balance refused to cooperate with The HEADoc's plan. As a public service The HEADoc wishes to remind all amateur chainsaw operators that this is the point to call the power company and swallow your pride. Tell them you are in the process of screwing up and need them to bail you out. They have the equipment to right the situation.

That said, most readers can probably assume that the HEADoc probably did not follow this prudent advice. He did learn a valuable lesson that will power is no match for physics. Yes, you guessed it. The HEADoc used the other saw to finish the cut. The tree refused to fall in the direction planned. The tree fell directly onto the power lines. The 4th of July came on May 3 for The HEADoc. The sparks and explosions were spectacular. The display culminated in a real fire this time. The HEADoc was not calm and collected this time because the situation was not under control. A passer by and a neighbor lended a hand to help control the fire until the Fire Department arrived. The passer by offered the humiliated HEADoc some consolation by admitting that the same thing had happened to him before. The neighbor's father had once felled a tree onto their house. Maybe this behavior is encoded in the Y Chromosome.

   A few hours ago . . .

The HEADoc took his newly purchased used chain saw from the A-1 Pawn Shop in Burlington to Siler City last Saturday searching for some physical action with nature.                                  

 Those poor trees and brush didn't stand a chance. On the third pull the starter cord broke loose and there were no tools to fix it with so The HEADoc had to go back to the old bush axe and the bow saw to resume his project to reclaim the land of his birth place from the over growth that rendered the place totally unrecognizable. The HEADoc complained of pains in the back and the legs and the hands after a couple of hours of this rigorous activity. His chest felt tight from the exertion and he breathed heavily but he knew his heart was strong and the fatigue was just a result of the sedentary lifestyle he had become accustomed to over the years of practicing his healing craft. He had become a stranger to the gym and the master of all procrastinators in his come back plan to recondition his once lean and hard body. Gone were the days of the gridiron, the full court hoops, and even the ball diamond. These were now replaced by the sofa, remote control and the keys used to enter this essentially useless information to be made available to your approving eyes.

 The HEADoc did enjoy wrestling with the trees, briars, and brush in a way that might cause an observer to maybe question his sanity and ask why a grown man would choose to spend his Saturday afternoon chopping and sawing on that poor helpless vegetation. The work was unbelievably strenuous and tedious and it would take many days of work at this pace before notable progress could be really appreciated by anyone other than The HEADoc. Yet he forged ahead on his quest to clear the land where he played as a child. To the outsider this patch of woods was just the forest next to Old Highway 421. To the HEADoc this was perhaps the most special place on earth because of the memories associated here.

The HEADoc was soon struck by a brilliant idea.   He would use one of the oldest forces of nature to assist him in clearing the growing pile of trees and brush which had become quite considerable in size. The HEADoc did not wish to make the Chatham News as the one who foolishly burned down half of the County so he checked the moisture level of the ground and saw that the recent heavy rains had made it improbable that a brush fire could get out of control. He summoned the memory of watching his uncle burn off overgrowth 40 plus years ago. Alas! The fire was started but there was little that would burn other that the small evergreens on the pile and the surrounding leaves. There was, however, smoke. Lots and lots of smoke. Smoke that could probably be seen for miles away. The HEADoc was unimpressed with the actual fire so for the sake of interest he allowed the leaves to burn on the surface of the ground. These flames moved fairly fast but burned out almost instantly after consuming the top layer of dry leaves. There were natural barriers on every side of the fire to limit the spread so the HEADoc was starting to relax and enjoy his pyromaniac adventure. The flames to him seemed to have a calming effect.

 Those familiar with The HEADoc know that he rarely shows much excitement. It takes a lot to rattle him. He finds most of today's news stories to be hyped up for ratings and designed to keep the public a bit frightened and needing to tune in for the next scare. The HEADoc is the ultimate skeptic. So the thought of wildfires shown to the public on the news never really crossed The HEADoc's mind in any serious way on this day. By the way, The HEADoc also hates cell phones, most of the time. Had the HEADoc been thinking on this particular Saturday he may have considered getting a burning permit but he apparently was not thinking that astutely and thought he might be able to enjoy his late afternoon flames uninterrupted. Not so! Some loyal motorist with a cell phone felt obligated to notify the local fire department of a horrendous forest fire out of control. Thus, the action begins. The sirens begin to sound off for miles around disrupting the blissful trance enjoyed by The HEADoc as he listens to the faint crackles of the burning leaves and admires the modest flames. The HEADoc felt as though there were two totally different worlds as the fire trucks arrived, one after another. He felt as though his party had been crashed as he witnessed the enormous hoses extinguish his soothing entertainment for the day. The HEADoc could not quite understand what all the excitement was about. In his mind he knew that the fire was under control. He began to feel a bit concerned when the fire chief told him he was burning the forest. That's when it dawned on The HEADoc that others were incapable of seeing what he envisioned. He saw himself reclaiming his home whereas others saw a reckless nut burning down the forest.

 In the HEADoc's defense, no laws were broken on this day since, fortunately, the state wide burning band had been lifted by Govenor Easley on the previous day. He was burning on his own property. The fire department could argue that The HEADoc lacked sufficient means to prove he could stop the fire from spreading beyond his control. The HEADoc of course disagrees and would have called the fire Dept himself if he had felt he needed them. In the future he will follow the foresters advise of giving a courtesy call to the fire Dept the next time he burns so they will know not to crash the party.