psychiatry
Holiday Thoughts
Sat, December 15, 2007 at 09:52AM 
Had another birthday on the 14th.
To me it was just another day. I think birthdays were invented so everyone could have at least one day out of the year to feel something special. The Christmas Holiday has always seemed to overshadow my birthday, meaning that there is already enough to celebrate. I also sometimes think that even Jesus' Birthday seems to be upstaged by the commercialization of Christmas. I hate seeing people depressed because they lack the funds to buy for their children all the things on their list. A list that is essentially programmed into their minds by corporate America. Maybe the tragic circumstances of the lead poisoning associated with the toys in China will wake some people up. My parents talked about getting a bag of fruit and nuts on Christmas morning and being happy to get that. The real joy came from the thought and not so much the cost or designer name on the gift. We all love to receive nice things but I still believe there is more joy in giving than receiving, from a purely spiritual perspective. True love is fueled by giving and making sacrifice for others. Is that not what the word Christ really represents since he made the ultimate sacrifice.
Sometimes I'm sickened by spoiled kids. I do not condone violence by any means but it sometimes gets difficult to block out the thought from my mind of what good a few pimp slaps might do for the child with the audacity to talk back disrespectfully to adults or call his mother a bitch or worse with relative ease. Of course it is usually the fault of the parent for letting the situation get so out of control in the first place without seeking help. No need to blame the teacher, preacher, or doctor at this point. Enough of this, I'm beginning to sound like my age.
I'm preparing for 2008 to be a spectacular year. I want the last 2 years to serve as examples of a place I want to try avoid going in the future. We all need to bottom out from time to time in order to re establish our bearings and rebuild on solid ground. Adversity tends to test our true limits and just experiencing the reality of survival serves as a re affirmation of faith and a source of personal growth and strength.
I opened a new office 2 weeks ago. I knew for some time that a change was in order. From a personal standpoint I realized that I could never be happy working for someone else, for any amount of money. It was a bit tempting, however, to think of just going to work 9 to 5 daily and taking a night or 2 of call a week and then simply pick up a check at the end of the month, taxes paid, insurance paid, benefits paid... That was hard to turn down. I also had to consider that you never get something for nothing. I'm not selling my soul yet. I'd rather take the opportunity to learn from my past mistakes and preserve my ability to operate autonomously. I understand that the current health care system has the deck stacked against me and favors the corporate models including managed care and pharmaceuticals but that could change once the American people awaken and realize what a bad deal they have received over the past eight years. I believe a time is at hand for change and that one day a private practitioner will be allowed to deliver care not to just a select minority but to anyone truly in need and actually be paid for it without having to split the money with an undeserving third party. If things don't go as I would like in the future I still will probably refuse the "if you can't beat them, join them" model. I think I'd rather just get out of health care all together and find another way to make a living than be a part of something I don't feel good about. Moving to another country isn't out of the question. That may sound crazy but that's just how stubborn I can be when I feel strongly about a principle.
Oh well, enough ranting for today. If I don't make it back to the keyboard by the holiday, I wish all my readers the Merriest of all Christmases and Happiest of all New Years. Thanks for your interest in my blog.
spirituality and mental health
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