psychiatry
The Truth Is The Light
Sat, September 13, 2008 at 11:13AM 
Very little is as it seems in our reality. . .
I have found that to be one of the greatest truths, yet sometimes The Headoc forgets that. There may be times when a myth or parable actually contain much greater truths than perceived reality. All great orators and teachers are gifted in using metaphorical illustration as a means of enhancing their transfer of information. Most of the greatest humans to live were actually misunderstood during their time. Jesus was brutally nailed to a tree. Joan of Arc was burned at the stake. Galileo was imprisoned for years as a heretic just for suggesting the world was round instead of flat. I won't even mention the 1960's in America. I believe in seeking out the truth in any situation and confronting that truth. By nature I have always been a risk taker which has sometimes paid off in various ways and at other times made my life more difficult. I am highly intuitive and spiritual at times. I don't care much for religious dogma, however. Most people in the world rely on what their eyes see and ears hear but are unaware of the realm of intuition and balancing emotion and reason as part of the equation. But in America alone there are over 250,000,000 individuals who biologically are 99% alike yet vary greatly in individual experiences that have contributed to their psychological develpment.
On the Internet, I sometimes enjoy a game of Poker at The Full Tilt Site. My play is more unorthodox and undisciplined than most which often infuriates players of the opposite playing style. I believe myself to be unusually lucky for brief windows of time, yet extremely unlucky most of the time. Players such as myself are often referred to as donkeys, donks, retards, tards, or idiots when we win a hand against the so called good players. Sometimes it's hard to not take it personal and I must remind myself to put things in perspective and consider the source of the insults. Usually I find it amusing to observe how some players believe that by following their system of probabilities and statistical laws that they should win the hands they think they should. In reality, if I could ever just learn when to quit I would win just as much as they do through my intuitive and luck based approach.
A flood was produced by the hurricane via the dried creek bed on my property last week. Most of the washout damage was due to blockage from debris left by the dozer during the land clearing process. While attempting to clear out some of the debris I came across my friend the terrapin I had rescued from the highway a few weeks ago. I picked him up to have a look to find his body limp and lifeless. He had drowned from being trapped by the water pressure of the stream. I felt hurt, angry, and defeated and asked myself why? Maybe he would have been better off with his chances of crossing the road that Saturday morning. I thought I had done a noble deed yet in the long run ended up contributing to the creature's demise.
The turtle story is symbolic of how the practice of psychiatry in the public sector sometimes seems. Those who work with this population can usually, at best, just try and do what they feel to be the right thing. This must be performed within the confines of greatly limited resources for the desired objectives to be met. As with the poker, sometimes I feel I continue to do what I do knowing that in the end it might not make any difference. Still I find creating hope and comforting people to be a worthwhile venture. The Medical Board represents that angry player who refers to me as a retard. I am not a retard and far from an idiot. I do sometimes make choices motivated by feeling and conviction. Irrational fear is my enemy.
A colleague suggested I write something to clarify my status with the Medical Board since there are rumors abroad about the situation with me and treating chronic pain. Sometimes when there lacks clear information people tend to think the worst. First of all, I have no criminal charges against me and I have committed no crime. I have never been placed in handcuffs and taken off to jail as some pharmacists have been telling my patients. Nothing has changed with my medical license or my DEA license. Nothing has happened with my practice except that I am phasing out any treatment for management of medications prescribed for the treatment of chronic pain. Thats it! There is no juicy story. This involves a fraction of the patients I treat. I want to focus on just psychiatry and as few substance abuse patients as possible. The Board is a govermental agency which by nature incorporates some degree of political agenda. As with the IRS, DEA, SBI, or even the SHP (State Highway Patrol) you do not want them in your life, and most do all they can to prevent encounters. In my case there is so much irony. I have worked with detox patients at Residential Treatment Services of Burlington for about 12 years now. Yesterday, 100% of the patients I saw were opioid dependent, taking large doses, yet none of them had ever received a prescription from me. The Board investigator assured me that my case is not a witch hunt and I should not take things personally. I still beg to differ when they have facilitated such a hostile public attack on my reputation and I am the one who treats the problem. My special DEA # to use Buprenorphine is on hold until my case is settled even though I have completed the training. I have completed the CME training requested by them to prescribe controlled medications. I have done everything asked of me but because my documentation records of a few charts were not to their satisfaction they have continued to drag this situation on. They are doing their part to fight the war on drugs during an election year by dealing with me. The true function of the Medical Board is to identify doctors who may pose danger to the public and remediate such a problem. I am no more a bad doctor than I am a tard or a donk. I think that time will prove this point. If it becomes too difficult for me to practice how I want to practice I may just have to find another way to make a living. Some things just aren't worth tolerating because life is to short.
Reader Comments (2)
Hang In there Doctor Headen and know that we love and believe in you. Your Big Sister Phyllis.
i din't get u.
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