It's All In the Mind

Nihilistic thinking means anticipating the absolute worst for the immediate future... Those suffering from depression are most vulnerable to this form of thought content. As a therapist my strong suit turned out to be a gift for interpreting. At the commencement of numerous sessions, patients have voiced feelings of despair and hopelessness and somehow end up leaving with a better outlook for their future. The process for this to happen usual starts by allowing the patient to express the laundry list of everything not going well in their life then pose the simple question: Well, what good is happening? The automatic response to that question is "nothing." I challenge them to rethink that answer and almost without fail, at least one positive thing can be identified. This single positive is used as a foundation to help make associations with the considerable number of worthwhile aspects of that person's life. There have to be reasons they even chose to keep their appointment. If their situation were truly that hopeless, they would likely have offed themselves or drowned their sorrows with alcohol or other mind altering substances. I point out that the fact they have kept the appointment and chosen to not entertain the thoughts or temptations of self harm is an important asset and that hope remains alive. Prioritizing is crucial. Freud wrote that true happiness is based on the quality of personal relationships and the status and degree of satisfaction with ones career or occupation. Any person who has lost their job and has a marriage on the rocks simply must feel grief emotions and depression at least for a period of time. If they do not, that person is truly out of their mind. The question is whether or not the person has sufficient coping mechanisms and an adequate support system to endure the storm. There are only two scores to be made on this crucial test; 100 or 0. One who choses to take their life and succesfully do so receive the zero. Even the person botching the suicide attempt receives a score of 100. Those who choose substance abuse as their primary means of coping are rapidly headed toward the zero mark. One who has children or grand children will be less likely to engage in the selfish act of suicide for they more than anything don't wish to transfer their pain to others that they love. Given enough time every storm eventually passes. Suicide can become a legacy since the number one risk factor for a succesful suicide is to have had a close relative commit suicide. It must be taken into consideration as well that severe substance abuse is no less than a masked wish to die and suicide in slow motion. The trigger has been pulled but the bullet just hasn't struck yet. Nature provides a simple guide that it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out for how to stay focused and make the best decisions. The answer is children. Almost every mammalian species has it encoded in their DNA to rear their young to at least some degree. Parents who consciously do their best to meet the needs of their young tend to have better mental health. This does not mean giving the child every material object they themselves never had or sparing the rod. Kids actually want to be disciplined and failing to meet this need will result in more acting out of undesirable behaviors. Kids with special behavioral needs associated with conditions such as ADHD or ODD need to be treated professionally as part of their parents involvement with being responsible and effective in the parenting role. Yes, you the mother or father of the child experiencing problems likely may carry an adult version of what your child has. It's nothing to hide or be ashamed of but be thankful we understand these conditions better today and can offer safe and effective treatments. Stop reading the internet and package inserts so much. It still amazes me how some people can learn more in an hour of Googling than I learned in 8 years of training and 12 years of practice. When this happens, as it often does, it gives me a pretty good clue of the origins of the problem at hand. My months of labor at my Chatham County retreat are starting to pay off. Out of what appeared to be random forest with major over growth, i have been able to restore a piece of history. Observers don't see me as a nut so much now. It is therapeutic for me, though at times it feels like PTSD without the trauma. Over forty years ago comes back to me as if it still lives. Practically all the adults I knew at that time are dead and long gone from a physical perspective but the memories are priceless. I see the pedal car, the tricycle, and remains of the little red wagon I once pulled lying in a pile of junk. I know its just rusted metal that should be hauled away to the random observer. The freight train passing by twice a day is undesirable noise to the random observer. It brings back memories to me of leaping from bed to run and wave to the engineers and count the cars. The dogs howling and owls hooting in the distance are not frightening to me but reminders of a simpler time in my life. I've spent 90% of my time working around the spring and the branch because they were my favorite places as a child. I know how to appreciate those simple structures. I think of how my ancestors relied on this source of water for their very lives. I think of the time and effort they must have put in so many years ago. Now it's up to me to not let that be forgotten. I am honored.

Comments

[JBP]

Please change the color of the back ground. For those of us who have some age on us or have astigmatism, reading white on black can be challenging.
Thanks
An old client who keeps up.
Thanks

[Flüge]

Your article really made me think. The fact that substance abuse could be considered a suicide in slow motion, for example. I've never really thought of it that way, rather as a means of relief.
It also gave me a lot of hope and reminded me that we should never forget about the good things in life.
Thanks!